Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Benghazi, Benghazi, Benghazi. Mr. McCarthy's got a Tiger by the Tail

Mr McMuddle: Kevin McCarthy (R-California). Mr. McCarthy represents California's 23rd Congressional District which includes the terrestial paradise of Bakersfield, or Bakersfieldia, if you, like Mr. McCarthy, are afflicted with a mild case of xenoglossia and therefore prone to spontaneous outbursts of italic latin.

Currently House Majority leader, Mr. McCarthy's possible appointment to Domus Orator follows Rep. John Boehner's decision to drop out of congress and run off with some teutonic mendicant order along the lines of the Grand Masters of K-Street, but not before recommending Mr. McCarthy in waiting as his successor.

Mr. McCarthy, upon learning of his newly endorsed rendezvous with speakerdom, felt obligated to present his points of view on leadership to the neo-conservative John Hay Initiative in Washington, DC. Reminding anyone who cared to hear it that he has visited some place called "Hungria" and the "Arab Gulf" as well as Estonia, Georgia, Russia and presumably any other EE-Uhs - like Italia and Britannia and Germania - that might impress upon his hosts the gravitas of his foreign policy experience.

He also offered the opinion that President Obama is an undecisive leader just like our nations' founding fathers who couldn't reach any kind of decision on what to do about the issue of slavery and as a consequence left the issue to be resolved by future generations:
“In essence, It had to be hundreds of thousands of grandchildren to make that decision. We don’t have the same as difficult decision but this White House is managing the decline in putting us in tough decisions for the future.”

See? Just like those slackers back in the late 18th century.

He also reminded those present that we Americans “live on the greatest nation that’s ever been on the face of the Earth." Just in case any of those Hungrians get any funny presumptuous ideas about living on their own greatest Earth nation where the next thing ya'know they'll be poring over plans for their own warm-water naval ports in the Bahamias. Or something.

The following day (Tuesday, Sept. 29) Mr. McCarthy scampered off to the Hannity Show - to address the real purpose of the House Select Committee on Benghazi - where he told Sean Hannity and the FOX News congregation the following:
Everybody thought Hillary Clinton was unbeatable, right? But we put together a Benghazi special committee, a select committee. What are her numbers today? Her numbers are dropping. Why? Because she’s un-trustable. But no one would have known any of that had happened, had we not fought.
Yeah, because nobody knew that already, right? But it was nice to hear Mr. McMuddle confirm what most everyone already knows: that the Benghazi special committee was/is nothing more than a taxpayer subsidized political oppo-research smear engine to destroy Hillary Clinton's presidential campaign.

Nice of Mr. McCarthy to stumble into his moment of truth (so to speak) LIVE on the Hannity Show as well. Couldn't have happened in a nicer venue. Unless of course you are a devotee of the Sean Hannity profligate liars club in which case you now realize the crippling jolt of reality that was being broadcast nationwide wasn't the momentus celebration of a hard fought slaying of the HilldaBeast you may have thought it was. Oh well.

To quote speaker McCarthy, "sometimes truth comes out." Or, as Jeb! might say, "stuff happens."

McCarthy, naturally, thought he was reinforcing his credibility among the crazies by inspiring them with a presentation of committee laurels . Thought he was dazzling the fringies with glorious tales of conquest. Thought he was bringin' it.

As for the blowback: McCarthy's bout of unintended veracity has taken its toll on his wingnut street cred among the very howling nutters he set out to impress. McCarthy himself has since tried to put his spilled beans back in the tattered bean bag from which they came. To little avail. You might even say that Mr. McCarthy has got himself a tiger by the tail. On that note: cue Buck Owens and his Buckaroos - take it away boys!

I've Got a Tiger by the Tail
Buck Owens

I've got a tiger by the tail it's plain to see
I won't be much when you get through with me
Well I'm a losing weight and I'm turning mighty pale
Looks like I've got a tiger by the tail.

||| UPDATE |||

Tiger eats McCarthy: Kevin McCarthy Out of Race for House Speaker (WaPo)

Random News Picks