Monday, August 10, 2015


The Donald is hacking his way through the conservative movement like some kind of barbarous Bilderberg butcher with a jungle machete. The Madman of Mar-A-Lago blood feud with FOX News Republican party debate moderator Megyn Kelly has escalated to further mayhem as critics on the Right scramble for cover or take turns lobbing fiery bags of caca at the HUGE lumbering monster unloosed in their midst.

The recent cancellation of Trumps scheduled keynote address to Erick Erickson's Red State hootenanny in Atlanta is one such instance. Erickson pronounced Trump dead to him in a Facebook posting prior to the event:
"It is unfortunate to have to disinvite him. But I just don't want someone on stage who gets a hostile question from a lady and his first inclination is to imply it was hormonal. It just was wrong,"

"He is not a professional politician and is known for being a blunt talker. But there are even lines blunt talkers and unprofessional politicians should not cross. Decency is one of those lines."

Yes, yes, sure... this from a guy who is no stranger to bluntly belly-flopping into the sewage lagoon on more than one occasion himself. The guy who once publically referred to Supreme Court Justice David Souter as a "goat fucking child molester" and Michelle Obama a "Marxist harpy wife"... among other crossed lines of decency.

But, suddenly, Erickson has discovered the slippery tyrannical slope of political correctness too difficult to avoid himself and so, away he goes down the slippery slide, like a fat kid on an inner tube at a waterpark.

The Trumpenstein monster, for his part, responded to Erickson's cut-n-run down the chute by calling him a "total loser" and a "deviant". So take that, Erickson, you insipid ham faced oaf!

None of this conservative movement mucky-muck histrionics has deterred The Donald from carrying on with his glorious bloody march to the sea... with Tea Party lemmings in tow according to tiny presidential challenger Rand Paul who Trump characterized as a "spoiled brat without a properly functioning brain". Can't you just hear the sound of Rand Paul's little sapling-like bones snapping and cracking and crunching as The Butcher of Bedminster hacks away at him with his huge bloody jungle machete? Let freedom ring! Survival of the fittest! It's like an unfettered free market bloodbath in the sub-prime securitization sector. Or something like that.

Hey, this ain't no "crunchy-con" feely deal we got here.
This is cunning cold blooded cutthroat-con-man art of the deal.

I'm not sure what Trump's plans are for the future of his presidential campaign (assuming he even has any actual plans for anything) but at some point he will have to select a vice presidential running mate who will capture the romantic bloody-eyed imaginations of all the same nutters who are currently following him around wingnut town they way Kampfbund cranks followed their hero out of the Burgerbraukeller in November 1923. [don't give me that Godwin's Law bullshit.]

But, somewhere along his bloody campaign trail of fear and bellicosity, Trump may need to offer some kind of reparations to Roger Ailes. Afterall, it was one of the Ailes soldiers who he disrespected in the first place. Perhaps Trump will agree to welcome Fox and Friends co-host Gretchen Carlson aboard the Make America Great Again bluster-bus as his vice presidential running mate. Thereby rebuilding some credibility in the cherish the ladies department as well as assuaging any sore lady eye sockets - or whereverparts - that may still be smarting from his earlier - what's the word - indiscretion(s).

Did you know that Michele Bachmann used to be Gretchen Carlson's nanny? Neither did I. Not until George Will told me about it.

When she [Bachmann] was a teenager in Anoka, Minn., she was a nanny for a young girl named Gretchen Carlson. Today, Carlson, a Stanford honors graduate who studied at Oxford, is a host of "Fox & Friends," the morning show on -- wouldn't you know -- Fox News Channel. See how far ahead the Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy plans?

Bloody perfect. And I'm pretty sure Carlson wears a wig.

The bloody scene is bloody sad
The bloody news is bloody bad
The bloody deal is bloody spiel
The bloody polls is bloody real
The bloody gaffe is bloody chaff
Makes me wanna bloody laugh
It's bloody huge to be top clown
In Angry Wingnut Circus Town
(apologies to John Cooper Clarke)

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