It's Steve Bannon's Kali Yuga And We Just Live In It.

Greetings, and welcome to Steve Bannon's Hotel Vamachara.

C'mon in. Follow me and I'll show you around. From here you can escape every condition of malaise, despair, moral degeneracy and corruption that you could ever wish for.

We are now standing in the Great Atrium of Neo-Fascism and if you look up you will see a replica of Immelmann II, the Junkers Ju 52 airplane featured in Leni Riefenstahl's Triumph of the Will, so don't try telling me Hitler was an anti-semite; he palled around with a Ju! Hahaha... just a little politically incorrect humor. We like to kid here, ok, so, moving along...

This, as you may have surmised, is the Grand Ballroom or The Volkshalle where traditionalist ceremonies are held including our annual Oswald Spengler Decline of the West New Year's Eve Ball. On the floor you can observe the inlaid marble tile replica of the Wewelsburg Castle sun wheel and the paintings on the wall you may recognize as well; this one is our favorite and was created by Italian Futurist painter Carlo Carra and is titled Steve Riding a Tiger Among the Ruins. Yes, it's true, many people think that Carlo died in 1966 but he didn't. He is alive and well and living happily in Helgafjell.

Of course you will recognize this portrait of President Donald J. Trump seated behind the wheel of Golf Cart One while giving his trademark finger mudra salute. The painting was donated to the Hotel by an anonymous charitable foundation soon after his inauguration in January. And right here, on this spot in this ballroom, is where, on New Year's Eve, President-elect Trump reached over and seized one time vice presidential candidate for the American Freedom Party, Virginia Abernethy, by the snatch! She was so honored she fainted straight away. Look, right here, that's where she landed. Anyway...

Let's step outside onto the Grand Ballroom balcony. This way, through the white linen wind swept drapes fluttering in the breeze. Here we have a beautiful view of the sea, the most beautiful view of the sea that you will ever see, including the pure golden white sands of Breitbart Beach. The sand itself was imported from Sabaudia, Italy where Benito Mussolini had the swampy marshes of Pontine drained in the 1930s.

And moored right over there, next to Bob Mercer's Sea Owl yacht, is our own flagship charter boat the Black Flame which was originally owned by Benito Mussolini. If you'd like to spend the day on the water please feel free to make reservations to join Captain John Tanton and crew for an exciting historical voyage to the Island of Angry White Nativism where you will be allowed to scour the dunes in search of lost Confederate treasure, expel an undocumented Mexican family from a rock jetty, or set fire to a Vietnamese immigrant's fishing boat.

Of course the Hotel has many other amenities for your enjoyment as well. There is the Tea Party Coffee Shop. There is Richard Spencer's Fashy Cuts Styling Salon and the Fat Shaming Fitness Studio. There is the National Chauvinist Bar and Grill where our famous French Chef Pierre Biétry will prepare you a delicious lunch of seared fresh Yellow Socialist Tuna. Or, if you're feeling thirsty, stop in at the Third Positionist Cabaret & Lounge for a drink or two or three. The lounge offers the full selection of Duck Commander / Robertson Family Wines as well as an exceptional sandwich menu which includes a guest favorite the Christian Mobilizer. Which is a half a pound of slow cooked pork loin wrapped in two strips of bacon, topped with a slice of smoked fly-over country ham and white sugar glazed Walla Walla onions all served on a fresh baked Kaiser roll. Guaranteed to repel Muslims! And served with a side order of Alain de Benoist Freedom Fries. Tonight's entertainment will feature stand up comedian Ann Coulter and investigative journalist Alex Jones who will read from the works of Eustace Mullins and Ezra Pound.

Perhaps, instead, you'd enjoy some Power Yoga by the Tantric Pool or a brisk morning goose step through the Garden of Left-Hand Paths stopping beside the Fountain of Nationalist Heroes to watch the Pepe frogs smugly frolicking among the lilies. Or maybe you'd like to visit our Dark Enlightenment Bookstore and Gift Shop located just off the Great Atrium. Everything in our shop is hand made on the premises by our own fully accredited 100% European-American craft folk. Pick up a Make America Great Again hat or one of our rustic hand tied fasces with protruding axe head. Makes a lovely decorative addition to any seasonal feast or holy day celebration or simply as a casual conversation starter. We happily accept gold bars and coins including Krugerrands; especially those minted before 1990.

And in the evenings you are always invited to our National Socialist Beach Party which features a torchlight conga line, dancing under the stars and bars, or just relaxing around a blazing bonfire of late twentieth century feminist literature.

And of course there is your lodging. Our Master Race Suite with a stunning west facing view of The Sovereign Citizen Homeland includes a full array of complimentary amenities including white terrycloth bathrobes with hoods (great for drying your hair) and, for those rainy afternoons, free movies which include Birth of a Nation, Passion of the Christ, Fritz Hippler's 1940 film The Eternal Jew, and Dinesh D'Souza's timeless classic Hillary's America. Oh yes, there's more: if you order from our room service menu any time during your stay we will reward you with 100 bonus points toward your purchase of ammunition at our NRA accredited bunker grotto shooting range located beneath the hotel.

So, if you need anything at all please feel free to contact the concierge desk by dialing Alt-Right and ask for Licio. Because, here at the Hotel Vamachara, Tomorrow Belongs To You!

Il Donald, Il Duce - Action, Aesthetics, and Invention

Excerpted text below from The Anatomy of Fascism by Robert O. Paxton.

If asked what manner of beast fascism is, most people would answer, without hesitation, "fascism is an ideology." The fascist leaders themselves never stopped saying that they were prophets of an idea, unlike the materialist liberals and socialists.

[...]

Fascism, by contrast, was a new invention created afresh for the era of mass politics. It sought to appeal mainly to the emotions by the use of ritual, carefully stage-managed ceremonies, and intensely charged rhetoric. The role programs and doctrine play in it is, on closer inspection, fundamentally unlike the role they play in conservatism, liberalism, and socialism. Fascism does not rest explicitly upon an elaborated philosophical system, but rather upon popular feelings about master races, their unjust lot, and their rightful predominance over inferior peoples. It has not been given intellectual underpinnings by any system builder, like Marx, or by any major critical intelligence, like Mill, Burke, or Tocqueville.

~::~::~::~

Trump:

“My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”

Paxton continued:

In a way utterly unlike the classical "isms," the rightness of fascism does not depend on the truth of any of the propositions advanced in its name. Fascism is "true" insofar as it helps fulfill the destiny of a chosen race or people or blood, locked with other peoples in a Darwinian struggle, and not in the light of some abstract and universal reason. The first fascists were entirely frank about this.

We [Fascists] don't think ideology is a problem that is resolved in such a way that truth is seated on a throne. But, in that case, does fighting for an ideology mean fighting for mere appearance? No doubt, unless one considers it according to its unique and efficacious psychological-historical value. The truth of an ideology lies in its capacity to set in motion our capacity for ideals and action. Its truth is absolute insofar as, living within us, it suffices to exhaust those capacities.

The truth was whatever permitted the fascist man (and woman) to dominate others, and whatever made the chosen people triumph.

~::~::~::~

 

Trump:

“An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”

"I watched when the World Trade Center came tumbling down. And I watched in Jersey City, New Jersey, where thousands and thousands of people were cheering as that building was coming down. Thousands of people were cheering."

“If you look at for instance where I said the thousands of Muslims were cheering. It turned out to be true.”

“The only quote that matters is a quote from me!”

Paxton:

Fascism rested not upon the truth of its doctrine but upon the leader's mystical union with the historic destiny of his people, a notion related to romanticist ideas of national historic flowering and of individual artistic or spiritual genius, though fascism otherwise denied romanticism's exaltation of unfettered personal creativity. The fascist leader wanted to bring his people into a higher realm of politics that they would experience sensually: the warmth of belonging to a new race now fully aware of its identity, historic destiny, and power; the excitement of participating in a vast collective enterprise; the gratification of submerging oneself in a wave of shared feelings, and of sacrificing one's petty concerns for the group's good; and the dull thrill of domination. Fascism's deliberate replacement of reasoned debate with immediate sensual experience transformed politics, as the exiled German cultural critic Walter Benjamin was first to point out, into aesthetics. And the ultimate fascist aesthetic experience, Benjamin warned in 1936, was war.

Fascist leaders made no secret of having no programs. Mussolini exulted in that absence. "The Fasci di Combattimento," Mussolini wrote in the "Postulates of the Fascist Program" of May 1920, "... do not feel tied to any particular doctrinal form." A few months before he became prime minister of Italy, he replied truculently to a critic who demanded to know what his program was: "The democrats of Il Mondo want to know our program? It is to break the bones of the democrats of Il Mondo. And the sooner the better." "The fist," asserted a fascist militant in 1920, "is the synthesis of our theory." Mussolini liked to declare that he himself was the definition of Fascism. The will and leadership of a Duce was what a modern people needed, not a doctrine. Only in 1932, after he had been in power for ten years, and when he wanted to "normalize" his regime, did Mussolini expound Fascist doctrine, in an article (partly ghostwritten by the philosopher Giovanni Gentile) for the new Enciclopedia Italiana. Power came first, then doctrine. Hannah Arendt observed that Mussolini "was probably the first party leader who consciously rejected a formal program and replaced it with inspired leadership and action alone."

Sound like anyone you know?

Trump:

'The @WSJ Wall Street Journal loves to write badly about me. They better be careful or I will unleash big time on them' (Oct 31, 2016 Twitter post)

Note: Il Mondo (The World) was an anti-fascist newspaper in the early to mid 1920s founded by an Italian politician and activist named Giovanni Amendola. Amendola died in 1926 after being beaten by fascist Blackshirts.

Birth of a Swamp

The Trump Clan Swamp Project is apparently stuck in its own muck these days. Garden State Bridge Troll Chris Christie - and his team of transition booth toll attendants - who had been assigned the task of bridging the great span between now and January 20th has been handed his traffic cone and sent back to Dumbthwacket in his overalls.

Jared Kushner, president-elect (with asterisk) Pussygrabber's son-in-law, has been reasigned the task of transitioning The Brand from Fifth Avenue to Pennsylvania Avenue and as of this writing the project appears to be (if reporting is accurate) in the risk matrix assesment stage.

Estimating the potential trauma caused by the Christie bridge collapse (anything from negligible to catastropic) is difficult to ascertain at this time given the conflicting communications coming not only from the Trump Collaborative control tower in Midtown Manhattan but from panicked onlookers and assistants close to the scene. .

Newly assigned Bloc Kleagle Jefferson Beauregard Sessions III and a team of salt-of-the-earth experts from The Heartland, led by Vice Regent for National Heraldry, Mike Pence, may be arriving shortly to help restore order; setting up mobile transition triage units that will assist with risk management and assessment needs and evaluate degrees of urgency as they become necessary.

New transition team members as well as spokepersons for The Brand have been dircted to wear new hats that read "So Much Winning You Won't Believe It!" as a means of dispelling any rumors that suggest there isn't as much actual winning taking place as some (((media))) may have you believe.

Official Trump Team Public Relations doormat Kellyanne Conway landed briefly beneath the gold Trump Tower marquee on Fifth Avenue to answer any questions that didn't require any actual answers and to dispell any false rumors that may suggest otherwise. Holding a magic wand - and smiling like a direct-entry midwife updating an anxious waiting room on the progress of the first stages of labor - Kellyanne reassured all those concerned that the new Trump administration would arrive happy, healthy, and gurgling; and right on time with all the normal sized digits exactly where they are supposed to be. Yay. And then she waved the wand in the air before her and fluttered back into Trump Tower like a pigeon returning to its dovecoat.

Trump Verwaltung Strategic Master Plan Anfuhrer, Steven Bannon, could not be reached for comment but sources close to the Family Tower in Midtown indicate that a torchlight parade celebrating the TRUMP ascension to power - and currently scheduled for Thanksgiving Day in New York City - may need to be moved forward (perhaps to Christmas Eve) as a result of continuing chaos, difficulties, uncertainties, concerns, !!!smooth!!! develpments surrounding the ongoing winning, so much winning, transition.

Rudy Giuliani, a senior consigliere to Robert Mercer's P2 Hedge Fund Lodge, and current Lunar Colony visionary Newt Gingrich, both currently awaiting further instruction at a Manhattan steak house, would not speak with reporters about any possible deployments that may be forthcoming from the "Hive of Activity" in Midtown. Both did however re-emphasize the need to remain obiedient and faithful to the Trump Family's abilities to address complex transition tasks in an orderly and professional manner consistent with the Trump Brand's elite global status and reputation for excellence in all matters everywhere at all the times no matter what you might hear from the lying media and other affiliated losers. So there.

Lastly: Newly appointed Chief of Staff Reince Priebus reportedly spent the day transitioning into his new role in the Trump organization, which, according to insiders close to insiders, includes fetching golf balls, rolling over on command, and sitting quietly on a plush double-stacked bolster bed located on the floor in front of the President-elect's favorite TV dinner table.

And that's the way it was; Wednesday, November 16th, 2016

Who is Steve Bannon?

All day long cable news (ie: MSNBC) and radio (ie: NPR) have been struggling mightily with the monumental question: Who is Steve Bannon? As if they were attempting to decipher the contents of the Voynich Manuscript or calculate the exact distance, down to the mile, to the edge of the unobservable universe.

As if figuring this out were some kind of great existential question on the nature of human existence. So, in order to help out the floundering buggers, let us take a tip from Nietzsche and conclude that The Bannon can be explained by an examination of the known actions of The Bannon himself. And therefore, given what we know from The Bannon's stewardship of his own media flagship and the actions (past and present) produced as a consequence of that stewardship - as if observing the turbulence or wake of a black flame as it prods it's way through dark waters - we can arrive at the following conclusion:

Steve Bannon is a middle finger on a hand that tickles the asshole of the Alt-Right sea.
There ya go media. Mystery solved! And, by the way, he's also a neo-fascist. Although a lot of it isn't really all that neo. (FYI)

See: It's Steve Bannon's Kali Yuga And We Just Live In It

Media Motif As Usual

The voters are tired of politics as usual. The voters are tired of the same old politicians. The voters want to drain the swamp. The voters want change. These are some of the common tropes we are treated to by the news media following every election. It's a tired script but every 2-4 years it's pulled from the file of tired tropes and delivered to us as part of the same old media post election narrative. Media motif as usual.

Voters do say these things but for the most part they say these things because, like trained parrots, they have been conditioned over the years to say them. They are repeating the scripted lines they hear on TV or radio or read in dozens of newspaper columns and online postings. Or from politicians like Donald Trump.

How many same old politicians did the voters (tired of politics as usual) throw out of office in 2016? Not many.

Only two Republican US Senate incumbents (those who ran for re-election as opposed to retiring) were deposed. Mark Kirk (R) in Illinois, and Kelly Ayotte (R) in New Hampshire. Both were replaced by Tammy Duckworth (D) in Illinois and Maggie Hassan (D) in New Hampshire.

In the House of Representatives the Republicans lost six incumbent seats to Democrats and the Democrats lost one incumbent seat to a Republican and another to a fellow Democrat.

So, basically, out of 435 seats in the House only eight trouble makers were run outta town. So much for draining that bayou.

In the Senate (with 100 seats) only two incumbents (both Republicans) were heaved back into the wild.

The media wowsers might conclude from this that it was Democrats who did most of the work when it came to pruning the deadwood from the tree of liberty. And not so much the Trumpian revolutionaries who were too busy entertaining us with chants of "drain the swamp" and "Make America Great Again" and "Jew-S-A!, Jew S-A!" to go wading into the quagmire in search of drain holes.

Democrat Chuck Schumer (NY) won reelection easily and will become Minority Speaker in the US Senate replacing retiring Harry Reid. Mitch McConnell (R-KY) will become Majority Speaker in the US Senate. +2 for "The Establishment".

In the House nothing changes. Paul Ryan (R-WI) will remain speaker for the foreseeable future and Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) will remain House Minority Leader if that's what she wants to do. Where are the smashed pumpkins in this picture? Score two more for "The Establishment".

Among the House rank and file only two Republicans that had been in office more than six years (one since 1992 and one since 2002) were defeated and only one Democrat who had been in office since 2000 was defeated.

So, I guess, if by stickin' it to the establishment you mean bumping off John Mica (R-Florida since 1992) and Mike Honda (D California since 2000) - whoever those guys are - is what you mean by blowing up the establishment count me not quite as impressed with the fireworks.

UPDATE: Trump chooses RNC chairman Reince Priebus as Chief of Staff. It doesn't get much more insider establishment than that. The Priebus is to Washington D.C. what a nutria is to a Louisiana wetland.

And lets not forget that Hillary Clinton, arguably the most establishment candidate in politics today, has so far received more votes for president than the guy who is going to get the job. As I write this she is predicted to get at least 1.8 million more votes than the guy who will get the job.

But a lot of this won't occur to most in the media (especially the cable news media) who will keep telling us that the average Trump voter was simply tired of politics as usual and decided to evacuate the premises by booting the loser establishment out the door.

Rather, it would appear, the Trump voter who, we are told, wants more infrastructure jobs (as Donald Trump has promised) decided to return to office the very politicians who have been, for the last eight years, refusing to provide the votes necessary to make those infrastructure jobs possible. How's that for politics as usual.

Finally: Dave Weigel's recent story in the Washington Post profiling some Trump voters in Wisconsin displays a sampling of the kind of bluster and backlash thinking that characterized Trump's march on Rome.

“I’m excited to see him blow the place up. He stands on his own, so he can throw the middle finger up.”

[...]

In interviews on Wednesday, again and again, voters in Kenosha said that they had gotten behind Donald Trump. Often, they had not cast a vote for a Republican presidential nominee before. More often, they said that the past eight years had gone well for them — although, tellingly, the city had been better in the times they dimly remembered.

Perhaps in dim remembrance of the Kenosha AMC auto plant that closed in 1988. And...:

“It was just that ‘Make America Great Again’ turned out to be genius,” said Karen Kempinen, 67, a retired teacher. “That resonated. They didn’t need to think any further than those words.”

Benito Mussolini had Italians convinced he was going to make Italy great again by restoring the nation to the glory days of the Roman Empire. He didn't.

Il Donald / Il Duce - Dear Nationalist Leader, I write to you in need of assistance...

Rewind - back to the Republican National Convention in July, to the speech given by Donald Trump's daughter Ivanka, who said this:

[Ivanka Trump] Over the years, on too many occasions to count, I saw my father tear stories out of the newspaper about people whom he had never met, who were facing some injustice or hardship.

He’d write a note to his assistant, in a signature black felt tip pen, and request that the person be found and invited to Trump Tower to meet with him. He would talk to them and then draw upon his extensive network to find them a job or get them a break. And they would leave his office, as people so often do after having been with Donald Trump, feeling that life could be great again.

After listening to that anecdote I couldn't help thinking that I'd heard something, or read something, just like it before. And then I remembered this:

From historian and author Christopher Duggan's book Fascist Voices; An Intimate History of Mussolini's Italy - Oxford Univ. Press 2013. page 221:

As the writer Corrado Alvaro observed in 1934, much of the extraordinary appeal of Mussolini to the masses lay in a widespread view that he was in some sense omniscient and could intervene to rectify their wrongs in accordance with an 'old ideal of justice'. And even when he was not aware of a specific grievance, it was commonly felt that he would act to remedy it just as soon as it came to his attention. Mussolini assiduously played up to such beliefs. The editor of il Popolo d'Italia recalled how the Duce telephoned him on one occasion after reading in a newspaper of a mother who was living with triplets, seven other children and a sick husband in a single room, telling him to send someone to the poor woman 'immediately' ('because we must not lose time with the usual bureaucratic headaches') with a gift of 3,000 lire in his name. In reporting the charitable gesture in il Popolo d' Italia the next day, the editor was told to emphasise how Mussolini had spotted the story tucked away in a corner of 'one of the many newspapers that he reads and notwithstanding the huge burden of work that he was saddled with'.

[...]

In his 1928 book Mussolini da vicino ('Mussolini close up') the well-known writer Paolo Orano described coming across the Duce surrounded by papers, and being asked for his opinion about an author who had just written to request assistance. Orano confirmed that the man in question had indeed had a hard life and was weighed down with debts, and Mussolini promptly declared that he needed to be 'saved' and wrote out a cheque for 10,000 lire...

Now does any one really believe that Donald Trump, in his penthouse high above Fifth Avenue in New York City, spends his free time hunched over a hand carved gold leaf Louis XV writing desk, littered with newspaper clippings, fretting over the plight of poor mothers with sick husbands or down on their luck authors or the falsely accused or even some unemployed former steelworker from Youngstown, Ohio for that matter. Or whoever it is that, supposedly, may be "facing some injustice or hardship." I don't.

Trump is the guy who frequently won't even pay the people he's contracted to work for him. And I seriously doubt that Trump has ever torn a story out of a newspaper that wasn't, most importantly, about himself.

Something like this: Donald Trump, after reading about Donald Trump's bankruptcy hardships in Atlantic City, decided to help alleviate some of the injustice he encountered by donating a $10,000 painting of himself, to himself, care of a golf course owned by himself. You get the idea. After all, charity begins at home.

We know how Trump operates with respect to charitable giving in the rare instances when he gives anything at all. He uses his Trump Foundation to give away other people's money. Money donated to the Trump Foundation which serves as a slush fund for Donald to draw from to appear the benevolent humanitarian he occasionally pretends to be when there is a camera or a live microphone in front of him. Which reminded me of this below (again from the pages of Duggan's Fascist Voices, pages 241-243 -- bold emphasis mine:

Many of those who appealed to the Duce for financial or other help did so from a belief that he occupied a position of absolute power and also from a sense that he would view supplicants with the kindness of a father and the charity of a man blessed by God. [...]

[...]

After being received in Rome, a letter would normally be forwarded by the Segreteria Particolare to the local prefect, who would check up on the supplicant's political and moral credentials, make sure that genuine hardship was involved, and ascertain if any assistance had already been given. If he advised that the case had merit, then an appropriate sum might be awarded ("The Duce has deigned to concede to you...'). [...]

[...]

The precise sums in question are hard to ascertain, but each year tens of millions of lire were available for the Duce's own personal distribution from the secret funds of ministries, the police, the Bank of Italy and various other sources. [...]

[...]

The impact of Mussolini's personal beneficence on individuals or communities was often considerable, not least because a sense of impovershment might be bound up closely with ideas of inveterate neglect by the state. The files of the Segreteria Particolare are full of letters from grateful recipients eager to capitalise on the feeling of having been singled out with a further communication with the Duce.

[...]

As so often it was the Duce's extraordinary omniscience as much as his generosity that was deemed to be remarkable:

... You, DUCE, though beset by the most pressing work, have seen and have thought even of us. We feel so proud of his gaze, more than if the eyes of all the world had been fixed on us. [Fascist Voices, pages 241-243]

So Mussolini kept a secret slush fund (of other people's money) available to him so that he could dole out charity in his name to those he deemed worthy of his special attention. This gave the impression that needs could be met by the all seeing benevolent leader as opposed to a bumbling entrenched state apparatus. When the faceless public service bureaucracy fails you can turn to an altruistic savior who will personally come to your rescue. So much winning! At least Mussolini appears to have delivered the goods on many occasions. Which is more than you can say for Trump.

Trump loves to say he's going to repeal Obamacare and replace it with "something terrific". I'm sure he's right if you consider the archaic meaning of the word terrific. ie: causing terror.

Therefore, if you need help meeting your health care needs from the Trump administration simply place an ad in an appropriate newspaper or Twitter feed (# SOSRx) describing your plight or hardship. Or send a stamped postcard (include return address written clearly with a black felt tip pen) to the Special Secretariat for Healthcare Needs (attention of Acting Clinician, Joseph Arpaio, Director of Compassionate Outreach for Medical Well-being) and wait to be contacted by someone of suitably terrific significance.

And maybe, if you're an exceptional American, as all real American's are, The Donald himself will read about you in a newspaper clipping or notice your earnest Tweet and send you some drugs to treat your Hepatitis C or your heart condition so life in America will be great again. Sure he will. Mark my word. They'll be so much winning you won't believe it. Ivanka said so.

Small Select Group of Insider Elites Elevate Trump to Presidency

Electoral College establishment hands Trump victory. Clinton on path to winning popular vote.

Newty likes the popular vote idea too! Below is a snip of a letter he wrote in support of the National Popular Vote bill. See entire letter here.

"The National Popular Vote bill would guarantee the Presidency to the candidate who receives the most popular votes in all 50 states and the District of Columbia." www.nationalpopularvote.com/written-explanation

Operation Taproot: Vladimir Putin's Hole-and-Corner Victory Garden

Greetings American People,

Americans weel believe me. Yes? Believe when told their President Obama is a seekrit Mooslim from Keenya. Believe when told Hillary Cleenton eez one who murder many dozens of people. Veence Foster, Ron Brown, even kitty cat that belong to some crazy lady.

Yes, shoor. Yoo Americans, I tell you that if I say Joos operate all media in USA and you should not believe media... you will leesten to me. Oh yes. That is an old one too. I thought we never get second bite of apple with that one. Ha ha. Hat tip to comrade Steve.

I tell you I have very top secret veedeo of Hillary Cleenton in welding helmet and leather apron delivering personally suitcase nuke to secret location inside Iran. Sure, you believe. No problem.

I tell you I have secret weeky leek document to show your Hillary Cleenton entering rehabilitation in Danmark for GHB problem. No problem.

I tell you I have secret transaction record of your Hillary Cleenton ordering lesbian Satanic orgy movie with hotel... how you say, deesko girls? Da? Ah, yes. Disco girls in hotel room. No problem.

I tell your Sean Hannity that president Obama and your senator Warren unfollow Hillary on the Facebook and Hannity believe me. This Hannity - a real mastermind that one. You just can't make this stuff up you know.
See, I tell you so

I know, maybe sound crazy. But don't let that discourage you America.

I say to Mr. Trump to like me on the Facebook. Mr. Trump like me on the Facebook. I say to Mr. Trump he is yarkii and he believes I make great compliment and call him brilliant genius. I tell you, American people, so you believe me too.

But I tell you I cultivate Trump like plump garden морковь and you NO BELIEVE me? Ok then. Have your way.

For now I bid farewell and will look forward to helping more with you when your Mr. Trump eez in your White House.

Very truly yours,

VP